


The art of swearing

by babydragon7



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-26
Updated: 2012-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydragon7/pseuds/babydragon7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of swearing and some fluff</p>
<p>very loosely inspired by a scene in "The King's Speech"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The art of swearing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skadi_zlata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skadi_zlata/gifts).



> Disclaimer:Not mine
> 
> Warning: a lot of swearing! beware!
> 
> Not beta-ed, so if you notice some misspelling or such, please, don't hesitate to let me know!

"Bugger it! Sodding piece of shit." John clamps his laptop shut with a loud ‘pop’.

"John!" Sherlock frowns with distaste. "There is absolutely no need…"

"Oh, there is a need, Sherlock. There is a virus on my computer now, and I have a nasty suspicion that I know just a person who’s at fault. So sod off! I’m too mad at you right now. And if I don’t swear I’ll probably go and kick you in the neither regions. That would be fun!"

John is so attractive, when he’s frustrated. Not that Sherlock’s noticed, of course.

"So you’re saying that expressing yourself in such a crass manner actually helps to… how would you say? Unburden yourself? Blow off steam?"

“Oh, piss off! You know that one don’t you?”

John exhales heavily and to Sherlock’s utter surprise answers:

“It helps, actually. Unlike you I don’t enjoy shooting the walls. And I don’t like it when you do either, because I have to redo the wall-  
paper afterwards. But anyway I’m sorry, if I’ve offended you. You’re still my best friends even if you behave like… that.”

“I’ve never sworn.”Sherlock confesses suddenly.

“Well, you manage to offend everyone bloody well regardless.”John is smiling and he looks amused.

“Maybe you should teach me? I mean couple of right words might help me to blend in with certain crowd?”

“More likely they will help you to get a black eye.” John mutters. “Ok, let’s start with something simple.”

“Fuck. Sod off. Bugger off. Crap. Shit. Now you try it.”

Sherlock does. It’s amazing. 

The basic down to earth simple and aggressive words flow easily. No more barriers.

“The Scotland Yard’s passwords are utter crap.”

“Are they?”

“Of course they are.”

“Ass. Dumbass!”

“Genitalia!” Sherlock is triumphant.

“No, a genitalia sounds like a medical book. Dick! Dickhead!”

“Anderson is a dickhead!” Sherlock is so happy he got it right.

It feels liberating. It feels fulfilling. It feels like letting go.

“I fucking love you!” John laughs and when catches himself.

“Oh, shit!” He says and licks his lips nervously. 

Sherlock is bewildered. What was that just now? Surely he is experiencing a complex auditory hallucination, is he? Why is John blushing so hard? It’s unhealthy. Elevated briefing and all that, he looks one step away from a heart-stroke.

“It was… “ he struggles for a word… “a fine example, John.”

John looks grim and avoids Sherlock’s eyes. Detective looks at his friend imploringly.  
But John is a soldier, brave and honest. “That’s the fucking truth, and if you don’t like it I can bugger off. Go to the pub or… whatever.”

“It’s all a bit sudden,” Sherlock says.  
He has not the foggiest what’s he’s supposed to say or do now. What one actually does after hearing such a declaration, albeit diminished by a swear word. Enhanced by a swear word?

“I don’t…” Sherlock stutters… “have a frame for comparison. But I think it’s safe to say that to some point I return you sentiment.”

John gets out of a chair and approaches and Sherlock retreats, until his back is dangerously close to the wall.

“If you are fucking toying with me, Sherlock, I swear I…”

Sherlock’s eyelids flutter. He should be appalled, he really should. Not exited for the sake of all that’s holy and right and not Mycroft. 

“Fuck…” he exhales, and it’s all the command John needs as he raises on his toes to press an open mouthed kiss to the base of Sherlock’s neck.

Oh, holy f…


End file.
